Nighttime Bike Ride

Me and My Bike

Exciting News:

I am about to go on my first bike ride of the year! I haven't gone since the end of August last year because I got a metropass when I started back at university last September. This is an exciting night for me because a) I LOVE riding my bike and b) I LOVE riding at night. Oh the wind in my face, the moon in the sky, the stars...no there's almost no stars in Toronto. Still, it's gonna be great! It's time to soothe my soul.

I also just got a Twitter account so if you're interested in following me you can find me here: @LoveKaruna

Guelph Trip

Delicious Lunch

Wow, so I missed out on going to the cottage with ALL of my friends this long weekend, but today totally made up for it! I went with my family to my aunt and uncle's house in Guelph and we had a jam packed day full of fun. We started out by eating a fantastic meal of: 1) quinoa salad with black beans, diced veggies and a lemon/olive oil vinagrette, 2) veggie/meat burgers from the bbq, 3) vegan/regular potato salad, 4) jicama, cherry tomatoes, avocado and black olives on a bed of boston lettuce, 5) steamed green beans with my uncle's special sweet sauce and sesame seeds, 6) watermelon, raspberries and strawberries. The food was so beautifully presented (see above) and equally delicious. Then we had a water fight and I got soaked, and I played croquet for the first time. In the evening we went to the horse tracks and watched the horses race and my lucky number 8 won a few times. Then I saw some of the best fireworks I've ever seen! Here's a small photo blog for you to see :)

Water Fight

Mohawk Horse Track

Green Elephant

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

Finding Forgiveness: A Seven Step Program For Letting Go Of Anger And Bitterness

Mother Earth is Free

It's been a beautiful day, near perfection if I didn't have to work on a journal for my summer class. The weather has been so lovely in Toronto and the shining sun, abundance of flowers and blossoming trees have all been a wonderful reminder of our generous Mother Earth. This of course reminds me of our wonderful mothers and life givers on mother's day!

I know that not everyone has been able to live in this lifetime with a loving and supportive mother or mother-figure. Perhaps it was part of their soul's lesson; to uncover peace and forgiveness in a world that is constantly trying to weave the feeling of lack into their spirit. There is no lack in not having a mother, mother-figure or good relationship with her in your life. I think of this as another kind of experience and I've learned this from barely having a father in my life. We are all in each other's lives (or not) so we can teach and learn lessons from each other, and this is for sure. It is quite difficult to become aware of these lessons when our egos are constantly in a state of defense because they feel that the whole world is out to get them. I think of the story I could have scripted for myself if I had been a different kind of person. I could have told myself, "I guess my dad never loved me, maybe I wasn't good enough, it's probably all my mom's fault", but what good would this have done me? Whether any of those things are true or not really should not have the power to turn me into a bitter and resentful person. And what is definitely true is that my father or any unloving mother and even a terribly abusive parent is going through their life lessons too. If they are "bad" at parenting then they are likely living in a very unconscious state and, for whatever reason, your soul has chosen them to be able to learn those challenging life lessons so there is an opportunity to evolve. I choose to be loving, compassionate and forgiving because this way I can feel joy, and this is the story that I want to know. 

In any case, we all know it is important to forgive. Forgiveness is the key to our freedom. I'd like to share with you the 7 steps toward forgiveness from a book called Finding Forgiveness: A Seven Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness by Eileen R. Borris-Dunchunstang:

- Clear your mind of negative thoughts that get in the way of your happiness. - Uncover your feelings of bitterness, betrayal, victimization, and blame.
- Let go of your anger and move on with your life.
- Work through your guilt and learn to forgive yourself as well as others.
- Reframe the situation that hurt you and restore your faith in others.
- Absorb the pain of the past without the need for apologies or revenge.
- Gain inner peace through new-found compassion, understanding, and acceptance.

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

 

How I Came Into Existence

My dad and I in Hawaii

How I came into existence:

So last week I reunited with my father after 14 years. It was the 4th time I've seen him in my whole 26.5 years of existence and now I've probably spent a total of 3 months with him. Yea, it's been that kind of relationship. Here's a bit of my context: 

When my sister was 4 years old (circa 1984), my wild hippie mom (also single and broke) decided to leave Toronto and go live on the beach in Hawaii for a year. She did not work while she was there and instead opted to eat fruit from the trees, climb volcanoes for berries with my sister on her back and swim in the ocean with the sharks, so the story goes. One day she met my dad: a super buff dude, and a few years younger than her, who was maintaining fields of marijuana crops in the valleys of Waipio. He took her and my sis into his sheet metal tree-house and out of love he hiked many miles for her to the nearest town where he could buy supplies and food so my sister had enough to eat. At some point during this relationship I was conceived. 

The next point of the story is told differently by each of my parents and is a prime example of the great saying, "There are 3 sides to every story. Yours, mine and the truth." Of course in this case it's my dad's side, my mom's side and the truth. According to my mom, being the independent, strong woman that she is, she decided she didn't need a man and was going to raise her 2 girls on her own, so she left Hawaii for Toronto to do just that and never asked my dad for a penny. According to my dad (already the father of one child he wasn't around), he knew that he could not provide my mom with what she wanted, which was for them to get married and have a family so he told her it was best she stay away. Who knows? It doesn't matter.

Anyway, I did end up being born in Toronto, in the basement of a house on Huron St. just north of Dundas St., with a few midwives and my big sister running around and peeping in as my mom simply whimpered during the drug-free delivery. Not long after, my father got the honour of meeting his hapa (half-Japanese) daughter in Hawaii when I was a wee 5 months old (see photo above). He then saw me again when I was 18 months old on Long Island and then for the 3rd time when I was 12 years old in Colorado, where he is living now. The last and 4th trip brings us to the present day and I will share some reflections from that trip next time. I have no anger or resentment towards him, nor do I feel any lack for anything. That's just the way it was. The end.

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)