Choose Again

A lesson from A Course in Miracles...

"There are no triumphs of love. Only hate is concerned with the triumph of love at all. The illusion of love can triumph over the illusion of hate, but always at the price of making both illusions. And as long as the illusion of hatred lasts, so long will love be an illusion to you. And then the only choice that remains possible, is which illusion you prefer. There is no conflict in the choice between truth and illusion. Seen in these terms, no one would hesitate. But conflict enters the instant the choice seems to be one between illusions, for this choice does not matter. Where one choice is as dangerous as the other, the decision must be one of despair... Every illusion is one of fear, whatever form it takes. And the attempt to escape from one illusion into another, must fail. If you seek love outside yourself, you can be certain that you perceive hatred within, and are afraid of it. Yet peace will never come from the illusion of love, but only from its reality... Every fantasy, be it of love or hate, deprives you of knowledge, for fantasies are the veil behind which truth is hidden. To lift the veil, which seems so dark and heavy, it is only needful to value truth beyond all fantasy, and to be entirely unwilling to settle for illusion in place of truth. Would you not go through fear to love? For such the journey seems to be. Love calls, though hate would bid you stay. Hear not the call of hate, and see no fantasies. For your completion lies in truth, and nowhere. See in the call of hate, and in every fantasy that rises to delay you, but the call for help, that rises ceaselessly from you to your Creator. God loves you, wholly without illusion, as you must love. For love is wholly without illusion, and therefore wholly without fear."

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

Me and My Bike

Exciting News:

I am about to go on my first bike ride of the year! I haven't gone since the end of August last year because I got a metropass when I started back at university last September. This is an exciting night for me because a) I LOVE riding my bike and b) I LOVE riding at night. Oh the wind in my face, the moon in the sky, the stars...no there's almost no stars in Toronto. Still, it's gonna be great! It's time to soothe my soul.

I also just got a Twitter account so if you're interested in following me you can find me here: @LoveKaruna

Delicious Lunch

Wow, so I missed out on going to the cottage with ALL of my friends this long weekend, but today totally made up for it! I went with my family to my aunt and uncle's house in Guelph and we had a jam packed day full of fun. We started out by eating a fantastic meal of: 1) quinoa salad with black beans, diced veggies and a lemon/olive oil vinagrette, 2) veggie/meat burgers from the bbq, 3) vegan/regular potato salad, 4) jicama, cherry tomatoes, avocado and black olives on a bed of boston lettuce, 5) steamed green beans with my uncle's special sweet sauce and sesame seeds, 6) watermelon, raspberries and strawberries. The food was so beautifully presented (see above) and equally delicious. Then we had a water fight and I got soaked, and I played croquet for the first time. In the evening we went to the horse tracks and watched the horses race and my lucky number 8 won a few times and I saw some of the best fireworks I've ever seen. Here's a small photo blog for you to see :)

Water Fight

Mohawk Horse Track

Green Elephant

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

Mother Earth is Free

It's been a beautiful day, near perfection if I didn't have to work on a journal for my summer class. The weather has been so lovely in Toronto and the shining sun, abundance of flowers and blossoming trees have all been a wonderful reminder of our generous Mother Earth. This of course reminds me of our wonderful mothers and life givers on mother's day!

I know that not everyone has been able to live in this lifetime with a loving and supportive mother or mother-figure. Perhaps it was part of their soul's lesson; to uncover peace and forgiveness in a world that is constantly trying to weave the feeling of lack into their spirit. There is no lack in not having a mother, mother-figure or good relationship with her in your life. I think of this as another kind of experience and I've learned this from barely having a father in my life. We are all in each other's lives (or not) so we can teach and learn lessons from each other, and this is for sure. It is quite difficult to become aware of these lessons when our egos are constantly in a state of defense because they feel that the whole world is out to get them. I think of the story I could have scripted for myself if I had been a different kind of person. I could have told myself, "I guess my dad never loved me, maybe I wasn't good enough, it's probably all my mom's fault", but what good would this have done me? Whether any of those things are true or not really should not have the power to turn me into a bitter and resentful person. And what is definitely true is that my father or any unloving mother and even a terribly abusive parent is going through their life lessons too. If they are "bad" at parenting then they are likely living in a very unconscious state and, for whatever reason, your soul has chosen them to be able to learn those challenging life lessons so there is an opportunity to evolve. I choose to be loving, compassionate and forgiving because this way I can feel joy, and this is the story that I want to know. 

In any case, we all know it is important to forgive. Forgiveness is the key to our freedom. I'd like to share with you the 7 steps toward forgiveness from a book called Finding Forgiveness by Eileen R. Borris-Dunchunstang:

- Clear your mind of negative thoughts that get in the way of your happiness. - Uncover your feelings of bitterness, betrayal, victimization, and blame.
- Let go of your anger and move on with your life.
- Work through your guilt and learn to forgive yourself as well as others.
- Reframe the situation that hurt you and restore your faith in others.
- Absorb the pain of the past without the need for apologies or revenge.
- Gain inner peace through new-found compassion, understanding, and acceptance.

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

 

My dad and I in Hawaii

How I came into existence:

So last week I reunited with my father after 14 years. It was the 4th time I've seen him in my whole 26.5 years of existence and now I've probably spent a total of 3 months with him. Yea, it's been that kind of relationship. Here's a bit of my context: 

When my sister was 4 years old (circa 1984), my wild hippie mom (also single and broke) decided to leave Toronto and go live on the beach in Hawaii for a year. She did not work while she was there and instead opted to eat fruit from the trees, climb volcanoes for berries with my sister on her back and swim in the ocean with the sharks, so the story goes. One day she met my dad: a super buff dude, and a few years younger than her, who was maintaining fields of marijuana crops in the valleys of Waipio. He took her and my sis into his sheet metal tree-house and out of love he hiked many miles for her to the nearest town where he could buy supplies and food so my sister had enough to eat. At some point during this relationship I was conceived. 

The next point of the story is told differently by each of my parents and is a prime example of the great saying, "There are 3 sides to every story. Yours, mine and the truth." Of course in this case it's my dad's side, my mom's side and the truth. According to my mom, being the independent, strong woman that she is, she decided she didn't need a man and was going to raise her 2 girls on her own, so she left Hawaii for Toronto to do just that and never asked my dad for a penny. According to my dad (already the father of one child he wasn't around), he knew that he could not provide my mom with what she wanted, which was for them to get married and have a family so he told her it was best she stay away. Who knows? It doesn't matter.

Anyway, I did end up being born in Toronto, in the basement of a house on Huron St. just north of Dundas St., with a midwife and my big sister running around and peeping in as my mom simply whimpered during the drug-free delivery. Not long after, my father got the honour of meeting his hapa (half-Japanese) daughter in Hawaii when I was a wee 5 months old (see photo above). He then saw me again when I was 18 months old on Long Island and then for the 3rd time when I was 12 years old in Colorado, where he is living now. The last and 4th trip brings us to the present day and I will share some reflections from that trip next time. I have no anger or resentment towards him, nor do I feel any lack for anything. That's just the way it was. The end.

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

Cottage Home

So here I am at my dad and grandma's house, deep in the rocky mountains of Colorado. I'm over 7000 feet above sea level and all I see around me are gigantic boulders and huge trees. Just across the road there is a river with water flowing straight down from the mountain. You can just imagine how beautiful it is to be here. I'm actually spending my nights at a place just 5 minutes down the road because there's not enough room for me at my dad's house. The place I'm staying at looks just like a little cottage with a wood burning stove in the middle of the living room and windows all around which let all of the beautiful sunlight in. Hopefully I can add some photos to this blog later (update: see above), but I don't have anything to connect my camera to the computer. This part of my trip is just beginning and I expect it to be great. I haven't seen my dad and grandma in 14 years so there is plenty of catching up to do!

Last week I was on Long Island, New York visiting my Love, his family and friends. I receive so much warmth and love on every trip I make to New York and slowly but surely I get to see more of the big city as well as the gems on Long Island. This time I was able to explore some more natural spots on the Island while the weather was nice. While in the city we went to Harlem a couple times and went bowling and shared good food with great people. By the end of the trip I knew that I was at home with these people. I was sent off with a couple tins of vegan brownies and nut brittle and a big smile on my face, no doubt. I am sooo lucky! During that part of the trip I also spent a night with my auntie Pat, uncle Jim and my cousin Drew. They are always so good to me when I go out there. They took me to the ocean a few times and my aunt cooked us all a delicious vegan dinner. I just feel thankful to know that all those around me are united in our desire and ability to create love and share our joy with others. Sharing Love: this is the truth.

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)



bell hooks

This is an excerpt from a book I just finished reading and thoroughly enjoyed, written by the great feminist writer and social activist bell hooks (she has a lot more memorable work linking race, class and gender). This is from her book Communion: The Female Search for Love...

"The popularity of books like John Gray's Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus indicates that lots of folks wants to believe that women are innately different from men in personality and habits of being and that these differences naturally maintain the social order. They choose denial over facing the reality that the gender differences we were once taught are innate are really mostly learned, that while biology is significant and should not be discounted, it is not destiny. Nowadays almost everyone knows that not all men are stronger than women, or smarter, or less emotional, and so on. Sexist notions of gender rarely hold up when we look at real life. And they hold up even less when we go outside the boundaries of this culture and look at males and females in other cultures. Living in the United States, people easily forget or remain ignorant of the reality that women in other parts of the world ofter do much more physically arduous labor than do their male counterparts. Or that a great majority of men in the world are suffering from malnutrition or starving and are nowhere near the physical equals of females eating three meals a day who are citizens of rich nations.

The aspect of patriarchy that most women want to change is the unkindness and cruelty of men, their contempt and dislike of women. It is a testament to the learned ignorance of political reality that so many females cannot accept that patriarchy requires of men cruelty to women, that the will to do violence defines heterosexual, patriarchal masculinity. Liberal, benevolent, patriarchal writes, like John Gray, offer women strategies for coping with male and female mutual dislike. In all his work Gray basically encourages women and men to accept their differences and find ways to avoid conflict and abusive behavior. Superficially, it may appear that the popularity of his work exposes women's passive acceptance of patriarchal thinking, but it is in fact women's dissatisfaction with negative aspects of patriarchy that creates an audience for his work. While is may help women to cope with patriarchal men, Gray's work does not call for an end to male domination. Instead it perpetuates the conventional sexist belief that it is natural for males to desire dominion over others.

When women eliminate sexist attitudes toward men from our consciousness, we are better situated to evaluate and like the real men we encounter...Knowing that both women and men are socialized to accept patriarchal thinking should make it clear to everyone that men are not the problem. The problem is patriarchy. Making the distinctions clear in Fear of Fifty, Erica Jong declares, "The truth is I don't blame individual men for this system, They carry it on mostly unknowingly, too. But more and more I wonder if it can ever be changed...I believe the word is full of men who are truly as perplexed and hurt by women's anger as women are perplexed by sexism, who only want to be loved and nurtured, who cannot understand how these desires have suddenly become so hard to fulfill." Patriarchy can be challenged and changed. We know this because many women and a few men have radically changed their lives. The men who are comrades in struggle search for love to find the communion that is needed to support their refusal to perpetuate patriarchal thinking. The men who are our comrades in struggle show us that they are willing to be challenged, that they are willing to change. As patriarchy changes, women are able to love men more, and men are better able to love us."

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

Green and Red Juice

I nearly forgot to write a new post this week. Now that I'm out of school the days of the week seem a lot less important to me, which feels great! :) 

But speaking of days of the week, on Friday I started my second juice fast. I decided to start one after I got through the semester because it was a crazy stressful few months for me and I know that produced a lot of toxins in my body (which showed up right on my face) and I needed a serious detox. This time I decided to drink less juice (cut by a third from last time) and I've been drinking more herbal tea, like dandelion tea for digestion, dong quai for hormonal imbalance and a Chinese liver detox tea.

The night before I started my fast, which was the day of my last exam, I started feeling a bit of a sore throat. I think maybe my body recognized it didn't need to run on adrenaline anymore and so my immune system started slowing down. Anyway, the first day of my fast was easy-peasy. I had surprisingly little hunger, perhaps because I was well prepared mentally. The next day I had to go to work and wasn't feeling very hungry again, but I was a bit weak and had to push through running up and down the stairs. But I survived! My starting weight was 130 lbs.

Today was my third day and it was actually kind of a rough start. Although I was exhausted from work yesterday, I couldn't sleep well last night. I felt a little bit of the effects of the cold. It was mild from the start, but I was feeling congested and mucousy which is actually a side effect of fasting as your body is trying to clean out. This morning I was incredibly tired, weak and was having hot and cold flashes (also normal side effects) so I kind of cheated to get enough energy to make my juice and I had a chewable vitamin C. After I had my juice, I felt great for the whole day pretty much. My weight by the end of day 3 is 125 lbs. Mostly just water weight so don't panic people!

Tomorrow, I'm not sure what I'll do. I was considering making this a short 3 day fast and start consuming some raw solid food tomorrow afternoon, but I'm not sure yet. Either way I'm going to have to take it easy. It takes a few days to come off a fast. I'll probably just eat an apple and some cucumber and have some more juice. This time I've just been having 2 simple juices, one green and one red. Here are the combos:

Green = kale, cucumber, celery, green apple, lemon, ginger.

Red = beet, carrot, green apple, cucumber, lemon, ginger.

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

Nice and Simple

Tonight will be the first night that I've been out in many, many months. I don't even know what to do anymore! Drink and have fun I guess :) Haha! After 8 months of being locked in my room, sitting with my laptop, deep into books and articles, thinking, thinking, thinking up tons of ideas and then typing, typing, typing dozens of pages...I need a break.

So far, as I've been getting ready I've found myself in an all too familiar situation: desperately searching through drawers and drawers of clothes until I feel defeated. Then I sit on my bed and sulk to myself and think "I have nothing to wear". Oh boo hoo I'm saying now, how pathetic. I don't know what's wrong with me. I've got plenty to wear, but somehow I never feel satisfied. This feeling of lack is absurd. Our whole consumer culture is waaack! I don't want to be a spoiled brat. That's not me. And I know it really doesn't matter that much what I put on anyway. And yet the choices, oh the choices, they leave me paralyzed. Someone said that to me earlier today actually, "options have a way of paralyzing people". So true. It's like we can never find peace with what we have. And trust me, I have everything I need, and more. 

Anyway, this is just a little rant before I go out. I don't want to be all negative, because I'm really just going out to hear some live music and have a fabulous time. And I will! Vodka cranberries here I come...

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

Raw Vegan Quiche

On January 2nd I began my very first juice fast. I had been thinking of doing one for a few months after trying a couple 24 hour water fasts and reading extensively about the physical, mental and spiritual benefits of fasting. When you stop eating food you allow your digestive system to finally have a rest and the energy can then be used on deeper healing processes in the body. Some of the benefits of a fast are to:

• allow for cleansing and detoxification of the body
• create a break in eating patterns, while shining a spotlight on them
• promote greater mental clarity
• cleanse and heal "stuck" emotional patterns
• lead to a feeling of physical lightness, increasing energy level
• promote an inner stillness, enhancing spiritual connection

For 6 days, 3 times a day, I only consumed raw fruit and vegetable juices. I juiced everything at home with a commercial grade juice that I borrowed from a friend. Apparently any of the cheap juicers would not have worked for the amount of juicing I was doing. Some of the items I was using to make my juices were: kale, swiss chard, apples, lemons, carrots, beets, papaya, celery, ginger and parsley (not necessarily in this combination). The juice was almost always pretty tasty and I had no problem gulping them back (except for the time I added broccoli to one of my green juices...eww).

I remember the first day I was really excited about doing the fast so that's pretty much what got me through the day. It wasn't until the 2nd and 3rd days that the hunger pangs became really intense and I was having feelings of doubt and frustration. I wanted to eat so badly, but didn't give in because I was certain that it would be beneficial for me in the long run if I just stuck to it. After that, the physical feelings of hunger much disappeared and the struggle transformed into an emotional and mental battle with all of the attachments that I had to food and to eating. I would just sit and daydream about all of the foods that I loved to eat. That's also when I started to see how much I was actually addicted to food. Eventually those cravings disappeared as well. 

I knew my fast was coming to an end and on my 7th day I decided to do a water fast to intensify the healing process. I didn't find it harder than the previous days and just went along with my day as usual, without having to do any of the slightly laborious juicing preparations. By morning of the 8th day I really felt the effects of the fast. I was so weak and nauseous, but I wanted to stick to my plan of easing back into eating again. I ate half an orange and I was full. Later on that day I ate another half an orange and I was full again. Throughout the rest of the afternoon I ate a whole English cucumber, peeled and it was actually hard to eat it all because my stomach was so small, but I didn't force it. After that day I introduced a little more food, mostly raw and some vegetable broth, day by day until I felt ready to eat a hearty meal again. 

I decided to become vegan after the fast because I barely had any cravings for dairy products like I used to (major cheese-aholic over here) and also my addiction to sugar was practically gone. Those are two battles I never felt that I could win. I still eat sweets here and there, but I had little control over my craving for sugar before, and would rummage through the house looking for anything with sugar in it when I was on a sugar binge. It was sick. Anyway, I will embark on this fasting journey again and I am looking forward to the experience because ever since that last fast I have felt great!!! Perhaps some of you would like to try this for yourself some day. If so, please feel free to ask me all the questions you want!

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

 

The Good Stuff

So if any of you are wondering what it is that makes me such a genius, I'll let you in on my little secret... Hahaha! I'm playing! If you just want to try out this awesome breakfast shake that I made up and that I think helps me function better mentally and physically, give this one a try! (I will post some of the health benefits of the ingredients that I include below)

My daily "brain shake" consists of:

1 cup Filtered Water

1/2 cup Almond, Soy or Brown Rice Milk

1 Banana

2 tbsp. Golden Flax Seed Powder

1 tbsp. Raw Cacao Powder

1 tbsp. Hemp Protein Powder

1 tsp. Gotu Kola Powder
1 tsp. Shatavari Powder

1 tsp. Black Maca Powder

1 tsp. Raw Bee Pollen
1 Splash Pure Vanilla Extract

2-3 Dashes Cinnamon Powder

2-3 Medjool Dates 

Put it all in the blender and you're good to go! Feel free to modify it in any way that you wish. I change the milk depending on what I have in the fridge, plus it's also good to rotate every so often anyway. I ran out of dates and they're kind of expensive, but I will get more because they add a delicious sweetness. Also, whenever I have berries, I'll throw those in too.

Health Benefits (all found on Google):

Golden Flax Seed Powder: source of Omega-3 Fatty acids, lignans, excellent source of B Vitamins, protein and gluten free, fights heart disease and high cholesterol, fights cancer, diabetes, constipation, helps with ADHD and memory loss, helps decrease inflammation, helps with weight loss, great for PMS and menopausal symptoms, helps depression, good for dry eyes. 

Raw Cacao Powder: full of antioxidants which promote cardiovascular health, protect from environmental and metabolic toxins, increases the levels of specific neurotransmitters in our brains to promote positive outlook, facilitates rejuvenation and simply helps us feel good, contains essential minerals like magnesium, sulfur, calcium, iron, zinc, copper, potassium and manganese, good source of essential fats.

Hemp Protein Powder: cleanses the liver by burning fat, environmentally friendly, a whole food source, has the optimal balance of the Omega 3 and Omega 6 Essential Fatty Acids, very rich in fiber, complete protein and branch chain amino acids, gets absorbed faster than any other protein, easily digested, protects you against chronic diseases, has the good fat you need for your skin, hair, eyes, nails and cells in general.

Gotu Kola Powder: antibacterial, anti-viral, anti-inflammatory, has good chemo-preventive properties that protect the colon, rich in terpenoids which provides you dermatological benefits like facilitation of healing wounds acquired from burns, purifies the blood and it can also lower blood pressure, a memory enhancer, rich in beta-carotene, sterols, sapponins, alkaloids, flavonols, saccharides, and amino fatty acids, contains manganese, sodium, calcium, magnesium, selenium and zinc, rich in Vitamins B1, B2, B3, C and K.

Shatavari Powder: supports reproductive health by toning and nourishing the female reproductive organs, maintains healthy hormonal balance, treats PMS symptoms by relieving pain and controlling blood loss during menstruation, supports normal production of breast milk for nursing mothers, relieves menopausal symptoms such as hot flashes, supports normal function of the immune and digestive system, increases libido.

Black Maca Powder: contains amino acids, complex carbohydrates, starch, glucosides, alkaloids, tannins, and vitamins B1, B12, C, and E, high in calcium and iron, used as a natural immunostimulant and to relieve stress, used to regulate the metabolism, enhance energy, stamina and endurance, used to promote mental clarity, used for the relief of chronic fatigue syndrome, menstrual disorders, and menopause symptoms, used as an herbal remedy for impotence, to enhance fertility, and as an aphrodisiac.

Raw Bee Pollen: proven to be an immune booster, a reliable source of acquiring vitamins and minerals in the body, and has a wide array of essential proteins, shown to increase sexual functions in men, as well as increase libido in women, stimulates each and every organ in the body as well as the glands, linked to a longer life span and increased longevity, rejuvenates the body including the skin, rich in antioxidants.

Pure Vanilla Extract: alleviates anxiety, reduces free radicals, stimulates sexual desire, contains vitamins including the B-complex group, contains traces of minerals including calcium, magnesium, potassium, manganese, iron and zinc, has anti-carcinogenic properties.

Cinnamon Powder: lowers the LDL cholesterol and has a regulatory effect on blood sugar, reduces the proliferation of leukemia and lymphoma cancer cells, has an anti-cloting effect on blood, acts as a natural preservative as it stops the growth of bacteria, helps in boosting up one's memory and improves the cognitive function, good source of manganese, fiber, iron and calcium, helps in reducing flatulence. 

Medjool Dates: rich in dietary fiber, good source of Vitamin A, rich in antioxidant flavonoids such as beta-carotene, lutein, and zeaxanthin, excellent source of iron and potassium, rich in minerals like calcium, manganese, copper, and magnesium, contains B-complex group of vitamins as well as vitamin K.

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

Being Present

The past is captivating. It literally has the power to capture us and hold us hostage in a time which has already gone. Our minds become trapped in ideas, moments, memories that have already passed...or have never even existed. The same is true for the future, for there is no reality in that which has not yet had a chance to be created. This is the power of our minds. Wildly creative and consistently authoring stories which our egos believe to be true at their core. Again, it is a mythological, fragmented reality which we are perceiving. 

All thoughts of the past and future are illusions, stories which we have created and to which we give form and substance. None of this can bring us to the light of the present moment. Yet making an effort in itself is futile, for it is bringing us further from the real experience of what is. How can we truly experience something as it is if we are constantly using our minds to think about it, and then to judge it?

How do we liberate ourselves from these illusions, bringing our attention to the present moment and know that NOW is all that we have? Perhaps we can begin to experience things as they are, without love or hate, just by tasting, touching, smelling, hearing, seeing, and feeling everything as it is, just for a moment. That moment will not last, but it will be real. As real as the next moment and the next. Not one of them will be separate, for life is one continuous action of moments strung together...

"Life exists only at this very moment, and in this moment it is infinite and eternal, for the present moment is infinitely small; before we can measure it, it has gone, and yet it exists forever..." - Alan Watts

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

Caster Semenya

Tonight I'm just sharing a journal I wrote for class last year. Enjoy...

According to Western science, what has been discovered, researched and recorded about the natural world should be regarded as factual evidence. In Western society, science is highly respected because it is thought to be information which is "value-neutral". This means that the values of those conducting the research should not interfere with the final results of the information being collected. Science is seen as something that reveals the truth about the world, something that cannot change. Culture, on the other hand, is accepted as something which shifts and changes with humans and their values, over time and around the world. In fact, like culture, science also changes as new theories are introduced, new methods are attempted, and yet Western science sees the two worlds as completely divided. 

 

For centuries, scientists have been searching for ways to prove the supposed "inherent" differences between genders through scientific research, without acknowledging the relevant social implications of the time in which the research was being conducted. This kind of research has been done not only to prove gender differences, but also the differences between "races" and sexual orientations, amongst so many other things. Much of the information which has been collected in Western science has been done by predominately White, Western men, and of course has always been subject to their opinions, values and context. This information, taken from a single worldview, is then declared "knowledge", "fact", "truth". Ultimately it is they who would benefit from this type of research as they give themselves an opportunity to prove their superiority over whom they wish. For this reason it is especially important to know the history of science. If science is meant to be regarded as truth, yet we also know that it is not nearly as "value-neutral" as it should be, then we must carefully reconsider the "truths" which have been taught to us about our natural world. Otherwise we will continue to perpetuate simplistic understandings of human beings, while we are certainly quite the opposite. 

If you know the Caster Semenya case, you'll understand the joke I posted above and how this relates to what I wrote.

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

I think I'm obsessed...with Sóley!

I just have to write about this artist. I am totally addicted to her!!! I came across Sóley as I was browsing through artists that I've never heard before on YouTube. Once I listened to one of her songs, I wanted more and more. Her voice is sooooo beautiful and I love the eerie tone of the music and lyrics she has created. I also love her smile when she sings, her Icelandic accent, her dimples, her cute outfits, her giant glasses, the way she says "takk" (thank you)...I told you I was obsessed!

I absolutely love this live performance. I've watched it over and over again. Watch it and see if you don't feel the same way. But be warned, she's addictive! (or I'm just a total nut)

http://compassionatejourneyofthesoul.blogspot.com

Freedom is at the Beginning

I've decided to share some wise words from J. Krishnamurti since they are important and also because I've exhausted my brain power after an 11 page paper. I am now re-charging for the other 3 papers and 3 exams ahead...

Jiddu Krishnamurti - Bombay, 1st Public Talk, 4th March 1956

"I think it is important to understand that freedom is at the beginning and not at the end. We think freedom is something to be achieved, that liberation is an ideal state of mind to be gradually attained through time, through various practices; but to me, this is a totally wrong approach. Freedom is not to be achieved; liberation is not a thing to be gained. Freedom, or liberation, is that state of mind which is essential for the discovery of any truth, any reality, therefore it cannot be an ideal; it must exist right from the beginning. Without freedom at the beginning, there can be no moments of direct understanding, because all thinking is then limited, conditioned. If your mind is tethered to any conclusion, to any experience, to any form of knowledge or belief, it is not free; and such a mind cannot possibly perceive what is truth."

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

Vegan Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

So the other night I tried to bake these cookies and as usual the results were good, but nothing to rave about. I actually have a few reasons to explain this (meaning it's not entirely my fault this time). This is what I've come up with:

1. Due to some of the ingredients in the recipe (oats, egg replacer, oil), the batter didn't seem to stick together.
2. I added too many chocolate chips (I had extra so I just poured them in which is usually a no-no when it comes to baking).
3. This was my first time making this recipe and I don't bake enough.
4. I don't have the magic touch when it comes to baking.

The end result turned out to be pretty thick and dense cookies that were extremely chocolatey, but they actually tasted pretty good. I would use this recipe again and maybe add just a little less oats and definitely not put the extra chocolate chips. I think this was what made it hard for them to stick together. Anyway, here is the recipe below if you'd like to try it out for yourself. But don't be fooled...just because it's vegan doesn't mean it's healthy! 

What you need:

• 1 cup vegetable oil
• Egg replacer for three eggs
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 3/4 cup brown sugar
• 1 1/2 cups flour
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp salt
• 2 1/2 cups oatmeal
• 1/2 cup vegan chocolate chips

What you do:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. In a large bowl, combine the oil, egg replacer and vanilla.
3. In a separate bowl, combine the sugar, brown sugar, flour, baking soda and salt. Combine with oil mixture.
4. Stir in the oatmeal and chocolate chips until well combined.
5. Drop by spoonfuls onto the baking sheet. Bake for 10 minutes or until edges are lightly browned.

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

Death. Our bodies are destined to die. This is a fact of this Earthly life and I accept it. And yet it still continues to be hard, though less and less as I begin to understand it better...

The last 6 months have been difficult, due in great part to some of the deaths of loved ones that I have experienced. I've lost 2 great aunts, 2 long-time family friends, 1 brother (whom I only met once) and 1 close friend of mine. Though I am conditioned to say it, I know that they are not really lost since even at the instance of death, the Life force inside of us doesn't simply disappear. We are actually transformed at the atomic level into a new part of the makeup of the universe like specs of dust sparkling in the sunlight. But the awareness, the consciousness that gives form to the creations of the mind exists eternally as a part of the Divine. And so nothing will ever be lost, everything will continue to be a part of the Light. 

The last death (the close friend of mine) hit me the hardest for this woman showed me the true nature of compassion and I loved her for all of the ways that she loved other people, including myself. I watched as her body transformed from the strong, robust figure that looked like it could take on any of the numerous jobs that she worked, her 3 feisty adult daughters, her 8 young grandsons, the fairly recent loss of her beloved husband of over 30 years and the unstoppable giving which she indiscriminately poured out to every person that she knew...into a frail, delicate frame of skin and bones in just a matter of 2 months. That woman that I loved...she was always there living inside that weakened body, continuing to embody what Love is. Her lesson became a part of my lesson, teaching me that we, our Life force, is not restricted by the bodies which we think encase our spirits. Such a perfect manifestation of Love is ever present and always transcending physical form. That part of her is God.

So I thank her for that lesson and for the Love which she created in her lifetime on Earth. I won't say that I'll join her some day, for we were never really separated in her passing. We live together forever, not only in memory, but in the part of us which is Real and in this I have found Peace. As a tribute to all of the specs of dust that sparkle in the sunlight, I share this song: 

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

Spiritual Union

The last six months have been some of the most beautiful and also some of the most challenging months of my life (including 6 deaths in 6 months). Meeting a man and building a relationship where we have gracefully risen to the heights of a beautiful spiritual union have been absolutely wonderful...and it all feels just right, thanks to God! 

He lives in New York so there is a long distance factor which poses a challenge to my physical understanding of my Self, yet knowing that I am much more than this body has been a huge comfort along the way. The physical distance, measured in miles or kilometers depending on which side of the border I'm on, is no challenge for my spirit. Our minds and our hearts are connected as we communicate regularly, which is essential  to this type of relationship. I do miss being near him sometimes, so that I can take him in with each one of my senses, but I am conscious of the eternal union of our spirits and I am never dissuaded to lose sight of this Truth. Really I am working to cultivate this sense of connection to all life on Earth, it is just easier with the ones that I love. And Love too is for everyone.

But the long distance has also been an important element in allowing me to focus on the things that I'm working on here in Toronto, like my schoolwork and my health. I tend to be someone who gets caught up in my partner's world, devoting a lot of my time and attention to them. Not losing, but recreating a sense of Self with each new partner. I don't think it's particularly strange or bad because I know we all must make accommodations when we are in a close relationship with someone. And I never, ever put my own life on hold or give up any of my own interests. It just seems like my partners open me up to a whole new world of ideas and experiences and...well actually all of this sounds pretty great now that I'm writing it. I am a fluid being and I too bring new expressions of beauty into the lives of people I meet. I guess I just feel like I have the best of both worlds - an amazing partner and a perfect opportunity to take care of my own physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health, while we live at a not-so-easily-accessible distance.

I was actually going to write about some of the challenges that I've had over the last six months - the many stories of death and my challenges with feeling grounded in this path that I've chosen in university - but am now feeling like I don't want to delve into those topics anymore. I'll save it for another day. Anyway, such is the nature of life really. We are like leaves blowing in the wind, pulled by a current which changes our direction at times, and surrenders us to the Earth before being swept up again on a new journey into the sky. Today my written journey will remain focused on how I have risen in love. I will end with these beautiful words from Khalil Gibran:

"And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself."

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

Love is Real

This evening I will share a beautiful poem that I read while visiting my Love on my last trip to New York...

A Lover's Call XXVII - Khalil Gibran

Where are you, my beloved? Are you in that little 

Paradise, watering the flowers who look upon you 

As infants look upon the breast of their mothers? 

Or are you in your chamber where the shrine of 

Virtue has been placed in your honor, and upon 

Which you offer my heart and soul as sacrifice? 

Or amongst the books, seeking human knowledge, 

While you are replete with heavenly wisdom? 

Oh companion of my soul, where are you? Are you 

Praying in the temple? Or calling Nature in the 

Field, haven of your dreams? 

Are you in the huts of the poor, consoling the 

Broken-hearted with the sweetness of your soul, and 

Filling their hands with your bounty? 

You are God's spirit everywhere; 

You are stronger than the ages. 

Do you have memory of the day we met, when the halo of 

You spirit surrounded us, and the Angels of Love 

Floated about, singing the praise of the soul's deed? 

Do you recollect our sitting in the shade of the 

Branches, sheltering ourselves from Humanity, as the ribs 

Protect the divine secret of the heart from injury? 

Remember you the trails and forest we walked, with hands 

Joined, and our heads leaning against each other, as if 

We were hiding ourselves within ourselves? 

Recall you the hour I bade you farewell, 

And the Maritime kiss you placed on my lips? 

That kiss taught me that joining of lips in Love 

Reveals heavenly secrets which the tongue cannot utter! 

That kiss was introduction to a great sigh, 

Like the Almighty's breath that turned earth into man. 

That sigh led my way into the spiritual world, 

Announcing the glory of my soul; and there 

It shall perpetuate until again we meet. 

I remember when you kissed me and kissed me, 

With tears coursing your cheeks, and you said, 

"Earthly bodies must often separate for earthly purpose, 

And must live apart impelled by worldly intent. 

"But the spirit remains joined safely in the hands of 

Love, until death arrives and takes joined souls to God. 

"Go, my beloved; Love has chosen you her delegate; 

Over her, for she is Beauty who offers to her follower 

The cup of the sweetness of life. 

As for my own empty arms, your love shall remain my 

Comforting groom; you memory, my Eternal wedding." 

Where are you now, my other self? Are you awake in 

The silence of the night? Let the clean breeze convey 

To you my heart's every beat and affection. 

Are you fondling my face in your memory? That image 

Is no longer my own, for Sorrow has dropped his 

Shadow on my happy countenance of the past. 

Sobs have withered my eyes which reflected your beauty 

And dried my lips which you sweetened with kisses. 

Where are you, my beloved? Do you hear my weeping 

From beyond the ocean? Do you understand my need? 

Do you know the greatness of my patience? 

Is there any spirit in the air capable of conveying 

To you the breath of this dying youth? Is there any 

Secret communication between angels that will carry to 

You my complaint? 

Where are you, my beautiful star? The obscurity of life 

Has cast me upon its bosom; sorrow has conquered me. 

Sail your smile into the air; it will reach and enliven me! 

Breathe your fragrance into the air; it will sustain me! 

Where are you, me beloved? 

Oh, how great is Love! 

And how little am I!

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

 

Tai Chi changed my life!

Today was Tai Chi Sunday. I absolutely love this day of the week. I wake up early-ish, put on my Tai Chi clothes and head to the Taoist Tai Chi Society on Bathurst, just south of St. Clair. I've been doing this every Sunday for the last 4 months and it's probably one of my favourite things to do all week. It's kind of like a hot Epsom salt bath at the end of a tough day, except the tough day is actually a tough, long week of work, school and life stress compressing down into this one little area around the base of my neck and shoulders. Incredibly, Tai Chi has the ability to relieve a lot of that tension in just 2 hours! Each and every time I walk out of the building I feel centered, at peace and ready to take on the world again. I would say it's one of the most important factors in health maintenance that I've included in my regimen so far. 

(On a side note: Taoist Tai Chi is a form of Tai Chi - a Chinese martial art - which was modified by Taoist monk Moy Lin-shin to increase the health benefits of this internal art and with more of a focus on compassionate awareness for all beings on Earth.)

When I do Tai Chi my mind is clear, I am focused and I feel relaxed...but it hasn't always been this way. Tai Chi is not a physically challenging activity, at least not for a young, fit woman like myself, but it used to challenge me mentally quite a bit in the beginning. When I first started and I learned that there were 108 moves to the whole set that I was eventually supposed to know, the task seemed daunting and near impossible for me. (I can be the kind of person that doesn't like to make mistakes and I also want to get it fast, otherwise I just want to give up). I kept doubting myself or pressuring myself to work so hard to perfect each move and commit it to memory along the way. But the best advice that I kept receiving again and again was that I didn't need to memorize everything; I just needed to 'watch and do, watch and do' and eventually the little nuances would work themselves out. And how true that was.


I realized that it was all the thinking that was creating a barrier for me to fully engage in the experience and to learn. It even prevented me from really enjoying Tai Chi, which is what I was there for. Every time I thought to myself, "am I doing this right? what comes next?" or worse, when I criticized myself, "ah man, you messed up again! you should know this by now!", I was removing myself from the present moment, from what I was actually doing. (I don't know about you, but to me the present moment is where it's at. I am alive right now and I want to feel as great as possible for every nanosecond that it's true). So I made the decision to just let it all go. I reminded myself that the whole reason I started Tai Chi was to have just a couple hours a week out of my busy schedule all for myself to relax.


Now I simply watch and do, I let go and I let my muscles do all of the memorization. My whole being can now enjoy the experience as I allow myself to flow fluidly like a river through the sequence of moves. I often go into a meditational state when the whole group is doing a set, moving together in synchronicity. It is really beautiful. I guess that's why they call it a moving meditation. Anyway, I encourage anyone and everyone to try it. Contrary to popular belief, Tai Chi is not just for old people to be done in the park at dawn. If you're interested in learning more about Tai Chi, here's the website - http://www.taoist.org/ - where you can find more information about the founding principles of this internal art and a lot more of the benefits on the mind and body.


Here's a video of the founder, Master Moy, doing a full, 108-move set of Taoist Tai Chi. As smooth as silk!

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)