Colorado Trip

Cottage Home

So here I am at my dad and grandma's house, deep in the rocky mountains of Colorado. I'm over 7000 feet above sea level and all I see around me are gigantic boulders and huge trees. Just across the road there is a river with water flowing straight down from the mountain. You can just imagine how beautiful it is to be here. I'm actually spending my nights at a place just 5 minutes down the road because there's not enough room for me at my dad's house. The place I'm staying at looks just like a little cottage with a wood burning stove in the middle of the living room and windows all around which let all of the beautiful sunlight in. Hopefully I can add some photos to this blog later (update: see above), but I don't have anything to connect my camera to the computer. This part of my trip is just beginning and I expect it to be great. I haven't seen my dad and grandma in 14 years so there is plenty of catching up to do!

Last week I was on Long Island, New York visiting my Love, his family and friends. I receive so much warmth and love on every trip I make to New York and slowly but surely I get to see more of the big city as well as the gems on Long Island. This time I was able to explore some more natural spots on the Island while the weather was nice. While in the city we went to Harlem a couple times and went bowling and shared good food with great people. By the end of the trip I knew that I was at home with these people. I was sent off with a couple tins of vegan brownies and nut brittle and a big smile on my face, no doubt. I am sooo lucky! During that part of the trip I also spent a night with my auntie Pat, uncle Jim and my cousin Drew. They are always so good to me when I go out there. They took me to the ocean a few times and my aunt cooked us all a delicious vegan dinner. I just feel thankful to know that all those around me are united in our desire and ability to create love and share our joy with others. Sharing Love: this is the truth.

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)



Communion: The Female Search For Love

bell hooks

This is an excerpt from a book I just finished reading and thoroughly enjoyed, written by the great feminist writer and social activist bell hooks (she has a lot more memorable work linking race, class and gender). This is from her book Communion: The Female Search for Love...

"The popularity of books like John Gray's Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus indicates that lots of folks wants to believe that women are innately different from men in personality and habits of being and that these differences naturally maintain the social order. They choose denial over facing the reality that the gender differences we were once taught are innate are really mostly learned, that while biology is significant and should not be discounted, it is not destiny. Nowadays almost everyone knows that not all men are stronger than women, or smarter, or less emotional, and so on. Sexist notions of gender rarely hold up when we look at real life. And they hold up even less when we go outside the boundaries of this culture and look at males and females in other cultures. Living in the United States, people easily forget or remain ignorant of the reality that women in other parts of the world ofter do much more physically arduous labor than do their male counterparts. Or that a great majority of men in the world are suffering from malnutrition or starving and are nowhere near the physical equals of females eating three meals a day who are citizens of rich nations.

The aspect of patriarchy that most women want to change is the unkindness and cruelty of men, their contempt and dislike of women. It is a testament to the learned ignorance of political reality that so many females cannot accept that patriarchy requires of men cruelty to women, that the will to do violence defines heterosexual, patriarchal masculinity. Liberal, benevolent, patriarchal writes, like John Gray, offer women strategies for coping with male and female mutual dislike. In all his work Gray basically encourages women and men to accept their differences and find ways to avoid conflict and abusive behavior. Superficially, it may appear that the popularity of his work exposes women's passive acceptance of patriarchal thinking, but it is in fact women's dissatisfaction with negative aspects of patriarchy that creates an audience for his work. While is may help women to cope with patriarchal men, Gray's work does not call for an end to male domination. Instead it perpetuates the conventional sexist belief that it is natural for males to desire dominion over others.

When women eliminate sexist attitudes toward men from our consciousness, we are better situated to evaluate and like the real men we encounter...Knowing that both women and men are socialized to accept patriarchal thinking should make it clear to everyone that men are not the problem. The problem is patriarchy. Making the distinctions clear in Fear of Fifty, Erica Jong declares, "The truth is I don't blame individual men for this system, They carry it on mostly unknowingly, too. But more and more I wonder if it can ever be changed...I believe the word is full of men who are truly as perplexed and hurt by women's anger as women are perplexed by sexism, who only want to be loved and nurtured, who cannot understand how these desires have suddenly become so hard to fulfill." Patriarchy can be challenged and changed. We know this because many women and a few men have radically changed their lives. The men who are comrades in struggle search for love to find the communion that is needed to support their refusal to perpetuate patriarchal thinking. The men who are our comrades in struggle show us that they are willing to be challenged, that they are willing to change. As patriarchy changes, women are able to love men more, and men are better able to love us."

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

Second Juice Fast

Green and Red Juice

I nearly forgot to write a new post this week. Now that I'm out of school the days of the week seem a lot less important to me, which feels great! :) 

But speaking of days of the week, on Friday I started my second juice fast. I decided to start one after I got through the semester because it was a crazy stressful few months for me and I know that produced a lot of toxins in my body (which showed up right on my face) and I needed a serious detox. This time I decided to drink less juice (cut by a third from last time) and I've been drinking more herbal tea, like dandelion tea for digestion, dong quai for hormonal imbalance and a Chinese liver detox tea.

The night before I started my fast, which was the day of my last exam, I started feeling a bit of a sore throat. I think maybe my body recognized it didn't need to run on adrenaline anymore and so my immune system started slowing down. Anyway, the first day of my fast was easy-peasy. I had surprisingly little hunger, perhaps because I was well prepared mentally. The next day I had to go to work and wasn't feeling very hungry again, but I was a bit weak and had to push through running up and down the stairs. But I survived! My starting weight was 130 lbs.

Today was my third day and it was actually kind of a rough start. Although I was exhausted from work yesterday, I couldn't sleep well last night. I felt a little bit of the effects of the cold. It was mild from the start, but I was feeling congested and mucousy which is actually a side effect of fasting as your body is trying to clean out. This morning I was incredibly tired, weak and was having hot and cold flashes (also normal side effects) so I kind of cheated to get enough energy to make my juice and I had a chewable vitamin C. After I had my juice, I felt great for the whole day pretty much. My weight by the end of day 3 is 125 lbs. Mostly just water weight so don't panic people!

Tomorrow, I'm not sure what I'll do. I was considering making this a short 3 day fast and start consuming some raw solid food tomorrow afternoon, but I'm not sure yet. Either way I'm going to have to take it easy. It takes a few days to come off a fast. I'll probably just eat an apple and some cucumber and have some more juice. This time I've just been having 2 simple juices, one green and one red. Here are the combos:

Green = kale, cucumber, celery, green apple, lemon, ginger.

Red = beet, carrot, green apple, cucumber, lemon, ginger.

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

Going Out

Nice and Simple

Tonight will be the first night that I've been out in many, many months. I don't even know what to do anymore! Drink and have fun I guess :) Haha! After 8 months of being locked in my room, sitting with my laptop, deep into books and articles, thinking, thinking, thinking up tons of ideas and then typing, typing, typing dozens of pages...I need a break.

So far, as I've been getting ready I've found myself in an all too familiar situation: desperately searching through drawers and drawers of clothes until I feel defeated. Then I sit on my bed and sulk to myself and think "I have nothing to wear". Oh boo hoo I'm saying now, how pathetic. I don't know what's wrong with me. I've got plenty to wear, but somehow I never feel satisfied. This feeling of lack is absurd. Our whole consumer culture is waaack! I don't want to be a spoiled brat. That's not me. And I know it really doesn't matter that much what I put on anyway. And yet the choices, oh the choices, they leave me paralyzed. Someone said that to me earlier today actually, "options have a way of paralyzing people". So true. It's like we can never find peace with what we have. And trust me, I have everything I need, and more. 

Anyway, this is just a little rant before I go out. I don't want to be all negative, because I'm really just going out to hear some live music and have a fabulous time. And I will! Vodka cranberries here I come...

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

First Juice Fast

Raw Vegan Quiche

On January 2nd I began my very first juice fast. I had been thinking of doing one for a few months after trying a couple 24 hour water fasts and reading extensively about the physical, mental and spiritual benefits of fasting. When you stop eating food you allow your digestive system to finally have a rest and the energy can then be used on deeper healing processes in the body. Some of the benefits of a fast are to:

• allow for cleansing and detoxification of the body
• create a break in eating patterns, while shining a spotlight on them
• promote greater mental clarity
• cleanse and heal "stuck" emotional patterns
• lead to a feeling of physical lightness, increasing energy level
• promote an inner stillness, enhancing spiritual connection

For 6 days, 3 times a day, I only consumed raw fruit and vegetable juices. I juiced everything at home with a commercial grade juice that I borrowed from a friend. Apparently any of the cheap juicers would not have worked for the amount of juicing I was doing. Some of the items I was using to make my juices were: kale, swiss chard, apples, lemons, carrots, beets, papaya, celery, ginger and parsley (not necessarily in this combination). The juice was almost always pretty tasty and I had no problem gulping them back (except for the time I added broccoli to one of my green juices...eww).

I remember the first day I was really excited about doing the fast so that's pretty much what got me through the day. It wasn't until the 2nd and 3rd days that the hunger pangs became really intense and I was having feelings of doubt and frustration. I wanted to eat so badly, but didn't give in because I was certain that it would be beneficial for me in the long run if I just stuck to it. After that, the physical feelings of hunger much disappeared and the struggle transformed into an emotional and mental battle with all of the attachments that I had to food and to eating. I would just sit and daydream about all of the foods that I loved to eat. That's also when I started to see how much I was actually addicted to food. Eventually those cravings disappeared as well. 

I knew my fast was coming to an end and on my 7th day I decided to do a water fast to intensify the healing process. I didn't find it harder than the previous days and just went along with my day as usual, without having to do any of the slightly laborious juicing preparations. By morning of the 8th day I really felt the effects of the fast. I was so weak and nauseous, but I wanted to stick to my plan of easing back into eating again. I ate half an orange and I was full. Later on that day I ate another half an orange and I was full again. Throughout the rest of the afternoon I ate a whole English cucumber, peeled and it was actually hard to eat it all because my stomach was so small, but I didn't force it. After that day I introduced a little more food, mostly raw and some vegetable broth, day by day until I felt ready to eat a hearty meal again. 

I decided to become vegan after the fast because I barely had any cravings for dairy products like I used to (major cheese-aholic over here) and also my addiction to sugar was practically gone. Those are two battles I never felt that I could win. I still eat sweets here and there, but I had little control over my craving for sugar before, and would rummage through the house looking for anything with sugar in it when I was on a sugar binge. It was sick. Anyway, I will embark on this fasting journey again and I am looking forward to the experience because ever since that last fast I have felt great!!! Perhaps some of you would like to try this for yourself some day. If so, please feel free to ask me all the questions you want!

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)