Sunday, September 23, 2012

Raw Food Diet

Mixed greens salad with kelp noodles

I don't feel like writing all the details about the diet, but in case you're wondering what I ate in the last two weeks during my raw food diet, here you go. For more awesomely helpful information on eating a vegan raw food diet, I recommend the book Raw Secrets by Frederic Patenaude.

(Keep in mind: no salt, no sugar, no spices, no cooking...everything pretty much as is...and the raw journey continues...)

Day 1
10 am – nectarine
11 am – orange
12 pm – half a large salad: mixed greens, shredded carrot, kelp, pea shoots, celery, tomato, white onion, lemon juice, hemp butter
3:30 pm – other half of salad
8 pm – banana, fig, 1.5 apples
9 pm – broccoli bunch

Day 2
10 am – orange, fruit salad: raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, banana
12:30 pm – half a large salad: mixed greens, shredded carrot, kelp, pea shoots, celery, tomato, white onion, lemon juice, hemp butter
4 pm – other half of salad
7 pm – banana
8 pm – fig
9 pm – broccoli bunch
11 pm – date

Day 3
10 am – fruit salad: raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, 1.5 bananas
1:30 pm – half a large smoothie: bunch of green chard, 2 bananas, strawberries, lemon juice
4 pm – other half of smoothie
6 pm – apple, almonds
9 pm – broccoli bunch

Day 4
9 am – third of a large smoothie: bunch of green chard, 2 bananas, strawberries, lemon juice, half an orange
10 am – third of smoothie
1:30 pm – fig
3 pm – carrots, green beans
6 pm – almonds
8 pm – celery
11 pm – date

Day 5
10 am – half an apple, half a banana, raspberries, third of yesterday's smoothie
12:30 pm – apple
1:30 – half a large salad: baby spinach, kelp, shredded carrot, celery, avocado, tomato, white onion, hemp butter, lemon juice
4:30 pm – other half of salad
8 pm – fig
9 pm – carrot

Day 6
9 am – 2 thirds of a large smoothie: 2 bananas, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries
1 pm – other third of smoothie
3:30 pm – half a large salad: baby spinach, kelp, shredded carrot, celery, avocado, tomato, white onion, hemp butter, lemon juice
6:30 pm – other half of large salad
9:30 pm – fig, apple
11 pm – date

Day 7
8:30 am – 2 thirds of a large smoothie: 2.5 bananas, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries
12:30 pm – other third of smoothie
3:30 pm – small fruit and veggie pieces: pineapple, cantaloupe, watermelon, carrot, cauliflower
8:30 – apple
10:30 – 2 apples
Day 8
11:30 am – 2 oranges, half a cucumber
12 pm – 2 bananas
4 pm – whole large salad: red leaf lettuce, cucumber, red pepper, grape tomatoes, parsley, lemon juice, hemp butter
9 pm – 2 peaches
9:30 pm – almonds
10 pm – date

Day 9
9:3o am – 2 oranges, half a cucumber
12:30 pm – 2 bananas
2:30 pm – 2 peaches
5:30 pm – whole large salad: red leaf lettuce, cucumber, red pepper, grape tomatoes, parsley, lemon juice, hemp butter
9:30 pm – 2 kiwis

Day 10
11:30 am – 2 oranges
3 pm – large juice: beet, apple
5:30 pm – carrots, green beans
7 pm – avocado
11 pm – date

Day 11
10:30 pm – orange, medium smoothie: 2 bananas, strawberries
2:30 pm – carrots, green beans
5 pm – almonds
8:30 pm – carrots, 2 apples, 2 kiwis

Day 12
11:30 am – orange, 2 apples
1:30 pm – cucumber, tomato
3:30 pm – almonds
7:30 pm – fruit salad: blueberries, raspberries, peach
10:30 pm – date

Day 13
10:30 am – large smoothie: 2 bananas, cantaloupe, pineapple
2 pm – raspberries
6 pm – almonds
6:30 pm – red pepper
8:30 pm – pear, grapefruit

Day 14
9 am – orange, pear
11 am – banana
12:30 pm – medium juice: orange and carrot
3:30 pm – banana
4:30 pm – small smoothie: banana, papaya, strawberries
7:30 pm – large salad: mixed greens, pea shoots, cucumber, carrot, celery, cauliflower, grape tomatoes, parsley, lemon juice, hemp butter
8:30 pm – almonds
11 pm – date 

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

Sunday, September 09, 2012

Hot Fruit Smoothies

Not actually my smoothie

Today I went shopping for my latest food/health adventure which is to begin eating 100% raw foods come tomorrow. I bought massive amounts of fresh fruits and vegetables which I decided to carry home in this crappy little buggy that I have. On my way, some of the raspberries got a bit squished and mushy and I didn't know what to do with them so I just threw them into a little pot. It was an uncommon move for me because normally I'd put them in the blender and make a smoothie, but my old blender died and I'm still waiting for my new one to arrive. I just did it and I had no idea what was coming next. I noticed we had a couple overripe bananas and normally I'd throw those into the freezer to use for a normal smoothie or something, but I threw them into the pot too. Then I added some vanilla soymilk and started heating it up on the stove. I thought to myself "what the hell am I doing? I'm making a hot smoothie", but I just went with it. Since I don't have a blender I had to mash up the bananas with a fork, but with the heat they softened a lot and it was pretty easy. The end result was a warm, sweet and comforting fruit smoothie and although it sounds weird, it's actually pretty good. After I made it, I decided to search the internet to see if hot smoothies actually exist and sure enough they do! They're normally blended in a blender before being heated up on the stove and I can see how that would give the smoothie a much nicer consistency than what I made, but I give myself credit for being so innovative. All in all, although I will not be enjoying more of these hot smoothies on my raw food diet, I think they're a great idea for smoothie lovers that don't want to give them up as soon as the cold weather hits. Be bold, try one!

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

Sunday, September 02, 2012

My last days in the Azores

Taking in the view
 
Well here I am, once again, in the last bittersweet days of my most recent adventure. "It's not an end, but a beginning!" as they (and I) would enthusiastically say. This month long trip to the Azores has filled this chapter of my life with wonderful experiences and stories which will allow me to move onto the next chapter with a whole new perspective on life. However subtle or great that shift has been doesn't matter. Every experience, every person, every gentle touch of the summer wind, it all makes a difference in the great plan and I allow it to be so. As I  quickly glance back on the last month of my life, I can say I've had a wonderful time and accomplished what I set out to do: from the ocean shores to the mountain peaks on this little island, I've had the opportunity to explore more of our phenomenal Earth and I am amazed, as always, at how beautiful she is. And humans...oh I know the world is full of huge, terrible social problems, I know this, but when I am able to sit down and look into the eyes of real breathing, loving, welcoming people in countries all around the world, I can see the goodness in their eyes. I see the beauty in humanity and I know that we are One! This is strength to my spirit and I openly share this Love with everyone. So here I am, I'm now ready to go home to Toronto. As much as I am usually itching to embark on a new voyage every time I've returned to my 'normal' routine in the big city, Toronto will always be home to me and the more I travel the world, I realize it's a place to be proud of. My family, my friends, my dog and the streets that raised me are all there waiting and I newly appreciate the life that I have. Well I've already written a sentimental blog about loving Toronto before so I won't get into that again. I am happy here. I am happy in Toronto. I am just happy.


@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

Sunday, August 12, 2012

My dog Nobu

Nobu: 8 weeks old

Well here I am writing to you from the middle of the Atlantic ocean on the beautiful island Santa Maria, Azores. I took a little break from blogging last week as I was quite busy sun-bathing, drinking wine, beer and mojitos, reading, working on a puzzle, and sleeping in late ;) Today I thought I'd write about something quite dear to my heart: my dog Nobu! Now if you haven't had the pleasure of meeting him yet, Nobu is my little, black Jack Russell/Chihuahua. I've had him since he was a wee 8 week old puppy and he was the cutest little thing, as you can see in the photo above. I chose the name Nobu because it means 'Truth' and 'Expansion' in Japanese and I thought it was fitting since I knew that the pure Love I received from him was the Truth and certainly an expansion of Joy in my life! He is  now 8 years old, full of life and energy, and continuously expressing unconditional Love to everyone he meets (except for a few dogs here and there). I am so grateful for him. Thankfully I have a very kind ex who is happy to take care of him while I am away exploring the world. I know he is in good hands :)

 

“The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.” - Johnny Depp
 

@LoveKaruna

Sunday, July 29, 2012

One More Week!

Ferry Ride to Toronto Island

Oh what a summer it has been! And trust me, I know we're only halfway into it, but working 2 jobs and summer school feels like the life is being sucked right out of me! But...ONE MORE WEEK UNTIL PORTUGAL!!! Oh man, I cannot wait to be on a tiny island in the middle of the Atlantic ocean with my best friend and a good book! That, to me, is paradise :)

Well, I do have to say that even with all my school, work, moving and packing stress, I have still managed to have a lot of fun this summer: seeing all my closest friends, going on a couple trips to Boston and New York, and just keeping it simple like walking along the train tracks at sunset with my little doggy, Nobu. Even just being able to ride around on my bike and be warm in the evenings is a treat.

Toronto is a great city and as much as I love to travel and get away...which is pretty often...I still think Toronto is one of the greatest cities, full of so many hidden gems that there's always something new and exciting to surprise you with. Just a few weeks ago, after having a magical day at the nudie beach with my friends, I walked right into this beautiful little park in the heart of the financial district. There was a man-made waterfall, flowers everywhere and a little greenhouse. I really appreciate these things!

Anyway, it's time to get to work on my final paper for my summer class, which is due Thursday. Ughh... But after that it's just Toronto fun until I head to the Azores! Weeeee!!! :D

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Hunter Valentine

This is a heads up, a shout out and a tribute to my girl Kiyomi and her awesome rock band Hunter Valentine!

I've known Kiyomi since I was in the 8th grade. We went to different middle schools, but when we met through a group of mutual friends one day we were pretty much bonded by our shared mixed, Japanese-Canadian heritage. We even found out that our grandparents went to the same Japanese church and we would both go to the annual church bazaar and eat sushi and the Japanese-Canadian version of chow mein. Over the first couple of years we shared a lot and grew closer over the standard (and not so standard) teen drama of our time. We even created a special book that each of us would take turns writing secrets, drawing and gluing pictures in before passing it off to the other one to read and do the same. It was hilarious reading it so many years later, but I realized that we were actually going through a lot of bullshit for our age and I guess that brought us closer.

Anyway, eventually Kiyomi and I grew apart, just due to lifestyle changes and all that stuff that happens when you get older, but over the years I've been watching her from a distance as she has pursued her dreams and become more and more successful as a musician. She is truly inspiring and still one of the coolest people I know! Just a couple of weeks ago I found out that she is now on the reality show The Real L Word and I think it's so awesome because, not only do you get to see my amazingly hot friend chilling with a bunch of other hot lesbians, you get to see some behind the scenes footage of her band life too. You can see the show on Showtime, Thursdays at 10 pm if you're interested. I'm just really proud of my friend and so today I decided to blog about her :)

Here's one of Hunter Valentine's music videos - The Stalker:


@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Boston Trip

Some photos from my recent trip to Boston to meet more of my dad's side of the family. Reconnecting with family is great!


My Cousin Patti

Patti's Kids: Emerson (6), Emily (10), Ethan (7), Eli (2)
 
Me at Harvard University

Emily's Swim Meet

My Uncle Jim (my dad's brother) and The Boys

My Auntie Pat

Daisy and The Boys

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

Sunday, July 08, 2012

Love Is Letting Go Of Fear

I am sharing this message from a book called Love Is Letting Go Of Fear, because it is powerful. Please take a few moments to meditate on the words of the author, Gerald G. Jampolsky. And remember to breathe deeply, whenever you can remember to...
"What is Real?

Most of us are confused about what is real. Even though we sense there is something more, we attempt to settle for a reality based exclusively on feedback from our physical senses. To reinforce this "reality", we look to what our culture defines as normal, healthy and therefore real.

Yet where does Love fit into this scheme of things? Wouldn't our lives be more meaningful if we looked to what has no beginning and no ending as our reality? Only Love fits this definition of the eternal. Everything else is transitory and therefore meaningless.

Fear always distorts our perception and confuses us as to what is going on. Love is the total absence of fear. Love ask no questions. Its natural state is one of extension and expansion, not comparison and measurement. Love, then, is really everything that is of value, and fear can offer us nothing because it is nothing.

Although Love is always what we really want, we are often afraid of Love without consciously knowing it, and so we may act both blind and deaf to Love's presence. Yet, as we help ourselves and each other let go of fear, we begin to experience a personal transformation.

We start to see beyond our old reality as defined by the physical senses, and we enter a state of clarity in which we discover that all minds are joined, that we share a common Self, and that inner peace and Love are in fact all that are real.

With Love as our only reality, health and wholeness can be viewed as inner peace, and healing can be seen as letting go of fear.

Love, then, is letting go of fear."

Here is a song by Olivia Newton-John - Love is letting go of fear:

 

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

Sunday, July 01, 2012

Coconut Rum Breeze

Coconut Rum Breeze

Beat the heat with a refreshing drink that I just created!

I looked over into the kitchen and saw that we had a bit of coconut rum left over so I decided to get a little creative and came up with this awesome drink. It's very simple and totally refreshing for a hot day like today.

Ingredients:

1 cup Almond Breeze almond milk (or milk of your choice)
1 frozen banana
1 shot of coconut rum
1 splash of vanilla
1 shake of cinnamon

Blend it all up with a couple ice cubes and you're good to go! I call it a Coconut Rum Breeze :)

Happy Canada Day! Happy Pride! Congratulations Spain!

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Quiet Mind Meditation System

Quieting the Mind

Quiet Mind Meditation System - By Michael Hughes

"To the mind that is still, the whole Universe surrenders.” - Lao Tzu

I want you to find a place where you won’t be disturbed for at least twenty minutes. You’ll need to sit in a chair, one without arms is best. A dining room or an office type chair is fine but don’t use an armchair as it’s too easy to fall asleep. Also don’t do this in bed for the same reason, unless you are physically unable to sit in a chair. In a straight-backed chair if you nod off to sleep, you’ll tend to fall forward and wake yourself up. Make sure that if you do fall asleep, you won’t fall and hurt yourself; for example on the edge of a table. (Yes, it has happened to me!) When you’re more experienced with the meditation you can do it in an armchair or sitting up in bed in the morning. But for now, stick to the chair.

I want you to sit in the chair with your back straight and both feet on the floor. Close your eyes and place both hands on your lap. When you close your eyes what do you see? If you are like most people you will see darkness in which there are occasional flecks of light; this is what I want you to look at.

I want you to look into this darkness but don’t look with your eyes - don’t strain to see the inside of your closed eyelids. Look into the darkness as if you were looking through your forehead. As if your forehead was a window and you were looking through it into the darkness.

At the same time hang your right hand down by your side. I want you to feel your hand. Concentrate on each finger in turn. Concentrate on your thumb for a few seconds until you can feel something, perhaps warmth or tingling. 

Now concentrate on your first finger until you feel something. Do this with each finger in turn until you get to the little finger and start again with the thumb. You are now concentrating on each finger in turn and at the same time concentrating on the middle of your forehead. (When I say “concentrating” I mean feeling – you concentrate on your fingers so that you feel them).

If a thought arises in your mind, I want you to look at it dispassionately. Don’t get involved with the image, stay distant from it. When you concentrate on a part of your body in such a way that you can feel it, you are in the present moment, not lost in thoughts of the past or future.

Continue feeling each finger in turn and, at the same time, looking through your forehead (as if it was a window) into the darkness. If you get lost in a daydream and forget to be aware of your hand or forehead, something will make you realize this and you will instantly be aware of your hand and forehead again.

Carry on with the technique for fifteen to twenty minutes then open your eyes. Don’t stand-up straight away. Raise your arms up and stretch and allow yourself a few moments to reorient yourself before standing up. You may feel different than usual, perhaps a bit distant or lightheaded. Don’t worry this is normal.

Do the technique three times a day if possible, but if not, do it at least twice a day - first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

When you’ve done the technique for seven days with your right hand by your side, I then want you to do it for seven days with your left hand by your side and the other hand on your lap. Eventually you’ll do it with both hands on your lap and be concentrating on both thumbs at once, then both first fingers at once and so on. Don’t be fooled into thinking, “is that all it is?” Although apparently simple, this technique is very powerful and can change your life.

Points to remember:
  • Keep distant from any thoughts that arise. Do not get involved.
  • Don’t get into a conversation with a character in your mind.
  • Do the meditation technique three times a day if possible, but at least twice.
You can find the full free ebook here: http://bit.ly/IiM7Ch or for more information about meditation you can email Micheal Hughes at: mike@quietmindsystem.com

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Vegan Chocolate Cake

Vegan Chocolate Cake

Today was one of those days of fun in the kitchen and I'm happily sharing my recipe adventures with you all :)

For lunch I made a delicious Spicy Guacamole:
  • 2 ripe avocados, peeled and pitted
  • 2 tsp. freshly squeezed lime juice
  • 1/2 tsp. salt
  • 1/4 cup chopped tomato
  • 1/4  cup minced onion
  • 2 tbsp. minced jalapeño
  • 1 tsp. minced garlic
  • 1/8 tsp. ground cumin

That is a recipe from a book, but I always do everything to taste. It also says to put everything in a food processor, but I like to do it all by hand. It turned out absolutely great: creamy with a bit of kick from the jalapeños (I added extra). I also served mine with multigrain tortilla chips, just to be healthier, haha!

The next thing I made was a Vegan Chocolate Cake (see above):
  • 3 cups flour
  • 2 cups sugar
  • 2 tsp. salt
  • 2 tsp. baking soda
  • 6 tbsp. cocoa powder
  • 2/3 cup vegetable oil
  • 2 tbsp. vinegar
  • 2 tsp. pure vanilla extract
  • 2 cups water

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a 9x13 inch pan. In a mixing bowl, sift together the flour sugar, salt, baking soda and cocoa. In a second bowl, combine the oil, vinegar, vanilla and water. Gradually add the dry ingredients to the wet and mix well. Pour into the pan and bake at 350 degrees until the cake is firm in the center and begins to pull away from the pan, about 35-40 minutes.

Chocolate Icing:
  • 4 tbsp. oil
  • 4 tbsp. water
  • 6 tbsp. sifted cocoa powder
  • 2 cups sifted powdered sugar

Place the water and oil in a heavy-bottomed, medium saucepan and bring to a boil. Remove from heat. Blend in the cocoa and sugar. Beat until smooth. After the cake has cooled down for 30 minutes, pour the icing over the cake and spread it to the edges.

Don't be fooled; vegan desserts are not necessarily healthy desserts! I just finished having a piece of the cake and it was fabulous. Of course I took time from all my cooking and baking (and eating) to call my dad. As you can see, it was a happy father's day! 

@LoveKaruna (Twitter) 

Sunday, June 10, 2012

New York Trip

Some reflections from my trip in New York City... I finally got to do some touristy stuff! (All the photographs were taken with my crumby blackberry unfortunately)

Times Square

The photographer doesn't like to be photographed

American Museum of Natural History
We're Chillin'

Boats in Central Park

Central Park

Police Horses

The Apollo Theater

The Queensboro Bridge
@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

Sunday, June 03, 2012

A Course In Miracles

Choose Again

A lesson from A Course in Miracles...
"There are no triumphs of love. Only hate is concerned with the triumph of love at all. The illusion of love can triumph over the illusion of hate, but always at the price of making both illusions. And as long as the illusion of hatred lasts, so long will love be an illusion to you. And then the only choice that remains possible, is which illusion you prefer. There is no conflict in the choice between truth and illusion. Seen in these terms, no one would hesitate. But conflict enters the instant the choice seems to be one between illusions, for this choice does not matter. Where one choice is as dangerous as the other, the decision must be one of despair... Every illusion is one of fear, whatever form it takes. And the attempt to escape from one illusion into another, must fail. If you seek love outside yourself, you can be certain that you perceive hatred within, and are afraid of it. Yet peace will never come from the illusion of love, but only from its reality... Every fantasy, be it of love or hate, deprives you of knowledge, for fantasies are the veil behind which truth is hidden. To lift the veil, which seems so dark and heavy, it is only needful to value truth beyond all fantasy, and to be entirely unwilling to settle for illusion in place of truth. Would you not go through fear to love? For such the journey seems to be. Love calls, though hate would bid you stay. Hear not the call of hate, and see no fantasies. For your completion lies in truth, and nowhere. See in the call of hate, and in every fantasy that rises to delay you, but the call for help, that rises ceaselessly from you to your Creator. God loves you, wholly without illusion, as you must love. For love is wholly without illusion, and therefore wholly without fear."

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Nighttime Bike Ride

Me and My Bike
Exciting News:

I am about to go on my first bike ride of the year! I haven't gone since the end of August last year because I got a metropass when I started back at university last September. This is an exciting night for me because a) I LOVE riding my bike and b) I LOVE riding at night. Oh the wind in my face, the moon in the sky, the stars...no there's almost no stars in Toronto. Still, it's gonna be great! It's time to soothe my soul.

I also just got a Twitter account so if you're interested in following me you can find me here: @LoveKaruna

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Guelph Trip

Delicious Lunch
Wow, so I missed out on going to the cottage with ALL of my friends this long weekend, but today totally made up for it! I went with my family to my aunt and uncle's house in Guelph and we had a jam packed day full of fun. We started out by eating a fantastic meal of: 1) quinoa salad with black beans, diced veggies and a lemon/olive oil vinagrette, 2) veggie/meat burgers from the bbq, 3) vegan/regular potato salad, 4) jicama, cherry tomatoes, avocado and black olives on a bed of boston lettuce, 5) steamed green beans with my uncle's special sweet sauce and sesame seeds, 6) watermelon, raspberries and strawberries. The food was so beautifully presented (see above) and equally delicious. Then we had a water fight and I got soaked, and I played croquet for the first time. In the evening we went to the horse tracks and watched the horses race and my lucky number 8 won a few times. Then I saw some of the best fireworks I've ever seen! Here's a small photo blog for you to see :)


Water Fight

Mohawk Horse Track

Green Elephant
@LoveKaruna (Twitter)

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Finding Forgiveness: A Seven Step Program For Letting Go Of Anger And Bitterness

Mother Earth is Free
It's been a beautiful day, near perfection if I didn't have to work on a journal for my summer class. The weather has been so lovely in Toronto and the shining sun, abundance of flowers and blossoming trees have all been a wonderful reminder of our generous Mother Earth. This of course reminds me of our wonderful mothers and life givers on mother's day!

I know that not everyone has been able to live in this lifetime with a loving and supportive mother or mother-figure. Perhaps it was part of their soul's lesson; to uncover peace and forgiveness in a world that is constantly trying to weave the feeling of lack into their spirit. There is no lack in not having a mother, mother-figure or good relationship with her in your life. I think of this as another kind of experience and I've learned this from barely having a father in my life. We are all in each other's lives (or not) so we can teach and learn lessons from each other, and this is for sure. It is quite difficult to become aware of these lessons when our egos are constantly in a state of defense because they feel that the whole world is out to get them. I think of the story I could have scripted for myself if I had been a different kind of person. I could have told myself, "I guess my dad never loved me, maybe I wasn't good enough, it's probably all my mom's fault", but what good would this have done me? Whether any of those things are true or not really should not have the power to turn me into a bitter and resentful person. And what is definitely true is that my father or any unloving mother and even a terribly abusive parent is going through their life lessons too. If they are "bad" at parenting then they are likely living in a very unconscious state and, for whatever reason, your soul has chosen them to be able to learn those challenging life lessons so there is an opportunity to evolve. I choose to be loving, compassionate and forgiving because this way I can feel joy, and this is the story that I want to know. 

In any case, we all know it is important to forgive. Forgiveness is the key to our freedom. I'd like to share with you the 7 steps toward forgiveness from a book called Finding Forgiveness: A Seven Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness by Eileen R. Borris-Dunchunstang:

- Clear your mind of negative thoughts that get in the way of your happiness. - Uncover your feelings of bitterness, betrayal, victimization, and blame.
- Let go of your anger and move on with your life.
- Work through your guilt and learn to forgive yourself as well as others.
- Reframe the situation that hurt you and restore your faith in others.
- Absorb the pain of the past without the need for apologies or revenge.
- Gain inner peace through new-found compassion, understanding, and acceptance.

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)
 

Sunday, May 06, 2012

How I Came Into Existence

My dad and I in Hawaii
How I came into existence:

So last week I reunited with my father after 14 years. It was the 4th time I've seen him in my whole 26.5 years of existence and now I've probably spent a total of 3 months with him. Yea, it's been that kind of relationship. Here's a bit of my context: 

When my sister was 4 years old (circa 1984), my wild hippie mom (also single and broke) decided to leave Toronto and go live on the beach in Hawaii for a year. She did not work while she was there and instead opted to eat fruit from the trees, climb volcanoes for berries with my sister on her back and swim in the ocean with the sharks, so the story goes. One day she met my dad: a super buff dude, and a few years younger than her, who was maintaining fields of marijuana crops in the valleys of Waipio. He took her and my sis into his sheet metal tree-house and out of love he hiked many miles for her to the nearest town where he could buy supplies and food so my sister had enough to eat. At some point during this relationship I was conceived. 

The next point of the story is told differently by each of my parents and is a prime example of the great saying, "There are 3 sides to every story. Yours, mine and the truth." Of course in this case it's my dad's side, my mom's side and the truth. According to my mom, being the independent, strong woman that she is, she decided she didn't need a man and was going to raise her 2 girls on her own, so she left Hawaii for Toronto to do just that and never asked my dad for a penny. According to my dad (already the father of one child he wasn't around), he knew that he could not provide my mom with what she wanted, which was for them to get married and have a family so he told her it was best she stay away. Who knows? It doesn't matter.

Anyway, I did end up being born in Toronto, in the basement of a house on Huron St. just north of Dundas St., with a few midwives and my big sister running around and peeping in as my mom simply whimpered during the drug-free delivery. Not long after, my father got the honour of meeting his hapa (half-Japanese) daughter in Hawaii when I was a wee 5 months old (see photo above). He then saw me again when I was 18 months old on Long Island and then for the 3rd time when I was 12 years old in Colorado, where he is living now. The last and 4th trip brings us to the present day and I will share some reflections from that trip next time. I have no anger or resentment towards him, nor do I feel any lack for anything. That's just the way it was. The end.

@LoveKaruna (Twitter)